I have been to the top of the mountain, and it is good

If you’ve come here directly via V4L, be sure to check out my follow-up review of Zeus, available here (or on the homepage, of course).

For those of you who may be uncertain, that’s a Beavis and ButtHead reference.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s left a lot to be desired. Parachute pants, Zubaz, Color Me Badd…

It also had a lot to love. Super Mario Brothers, Ecto Cooler, Pearl Jam…

One of the best parts about that era was the TV. Things just flowed so seamlessly from genre to genre, and it seemed like these flows coincided with my movement from one demographic group to the next. It started with kid shows like Fraggle Rock and Romper Room, then grew into epic cartoons like Voltron and Transformers, into family-friendly sitcoms like Growing Pains and The Cosby Show, and eventually the edgier stuff. These were all good enough, but things really got awesome on a fledgling little network called FOX. Now, they’re on par with the others, but back then they were the upstart. To me though, they were number 1 almost from the start thanks to fine programming like The Simpsons, The Tracey Ullman Show and of course, Married with Children.

At the time, I thought the Bundys were the greatest things to come out of Chicago (a belief that remained until the evening of January 30, 2009), and while they’ve been replaced, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for them. My favorite episodes were the ones with guest stars, and one in particular stands out to me. Season 6, episode 15 (1992 or so) was a Super Bowl themed show, where Al got a role in a sneaker commercial co-starring Ed “too tall” Jones, Steve Carlton and Sugar Ray Leonard. The episode featured a secretary named Miss LeGroin, blue toilet disks and an homage to Steel Magnolias at the end. The shoes were called Zeus, and although I new they didn’t exist, I wanted a pair (haven’t the foggiest idea why. I was 12). The one thing I do know is, much like the Bundys are no longer the greatest people to come out of the Windy City, those shoes are no longer my favorite things named after the God of Thunder.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children ages 18 and up, I give to you, the Vapor Zeus

In all their glory...I'll post something nicer, I promise

In all their glory…I’ll post something nicer, I promise

more e-cigarette shit!?!?!?!?! Sorry…yes

This is the newest battery from Vapor4Life. It’s a 5 volt, 900mAh passthrough battery (smoke and charge at the same time) about the size of a small cigar. The V4L folks sent me some pre-release samples to test out, and to call it another battery is really kind of unfair. Well, maybe not…it is an e-cig battery, but referring to it as “just another” e-cig battery is about as blasphemous as telling 1992 me that Al, Peg, Kelly and Bud (and Buck) were “just another” TV family.

I’m not going to go into a ton of detail here, since I want to really give them a full workout before sharing, but the brown one (we’ll call him Bob) is an automatic, while the slightly longer black unit you see before you (Steve?) is a hybrid (officially, it’s a dual-mode, but hybrid does a better job setting up these bad jokes).

Steve gets more miles per gal…wait, that’s a car. He’s part vampire, part lyca…no, that’s the Underworld movies. 6 feet of bubble gum for you, not th…that’s bubble tape, which couldn’t be more wrong. In this case, Steve the hybrid is part manual, part automatic (I should say something like “all awesome” here, but that would be much too lame).

When I did my handy dandy battery primer, I mentioned lacking a strong preference between the manual and automatic, and my tendency to switch from one to the other throughout the day. The hybrid nature of Zeus is what had me most excited, since ADD inflicted capers like me now had the best of both worlds. All I really knew to this point was that Zeus was dual mode, and revolutionary…it was up to me to figure out why. When the package came, I ogled Steve for a few minutes before turning to Bob. What immediately jumped out at me was that Bob didn’t have a button…was this some sort of magical hybrid? A manual without a button? That would be pretty revolutionary. I paused to read the letter that came with my goodies and realized that while Steve was a hybrid, Bob was an automatic. I resisted the urge to start puffing almost long enough to read then press release and I realized that dual mode wasn’t the only distinguished feature this puppy had, and even if you have a definite stance on tastes great (Auto) versus less filling (Manual), the auto-only version has its place and its purpose. I’m going to stop myself before getting too deep into this, otherwise I won’t have anything left for the real review. I’ll leave you (for now) with a quick rundown and a few first impressions…

It's big, but not cumbersome

It’s big, but not cumbersome

I’ll include the measurements in my proper review, but it’s similar in size to the Automatic Dial-A-Volt. Can’t quite figure out why, but it feels a little different though. I’ll get to the bottom of it…

It's a passthrough

It’s a passthrough

That little nubbin on the end there is a mini-USB port. In other words, you can plug it in to a computer or a USB charger and puff while you’re charging (or charge while you’re puffing…either way).

Special cartomizers

Special cartomizers…not bullets

To go along with Zeus, they released the Zeus cartomizer. It holds 3.5ml of liquid, which is a lot. I normally don’t like cartomizers, but there’s something about these that kinda works. Not sure what it is, but I’ll figure it out and report back. If cartos aren’t your bag though, rest assured you can use other 808 style vessels and they work just as well.

It’s five volts…that’s like, a lot of volts. Somehow though, this doesn’t burn the liquid like others.

It feels a lot like a regular cigarette…from what I remember at least. I’m tempted to have one just to confirm, but I’ll take my word for it. Tons of fake smoke and a nice warm feeling in the chest and throat. I think this might be what the vape folk mean when they refer to throat hit.


I have no idea how much this is going to cost, but if it’s less than some completely arbitrary number…let’s say $250, and you have the disposable income, BUY THIS as soon as it comes out. Don’t wait for my real review. Just trust me…it’s worth it. If you’re still not sure, wait for the real review, ETA later this week?

Until then, here’s the Married with Children episode that inspired this here post…

  1. Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…

    • Amanda
    • May 3rd, 2013

    Awww… based on your post, that must be one helluva someone ya met on 01/30/09. =)

  1. April 24th, 2013

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