Inspiration comes from unexpected places sometimes. On the way to work, before my first client crisis of the day, I was mulling over what to write about this fine Friday morning. Didn’t want another lengthy diatribe about the diet (191 this morning, didn’t go into Crumbs despite a big buy 3 get 1 free sign in the window) and wasn’t quite ready to start the non-smoking revelations (5 weeks tomorrow, but still crave sometimes). I could talk about Wednesday night’s Rangers game, but a one-word post is kind of pointless and I’m pretty sure Amazeballs isn’t even a real word. It hit me as I was getting dressed. I put on the pants that “used to look cute,” paired them with a shirt that “used to be a little snug,” then tried to decide which glasses to wear.
I mentioned at the beginning of this little adventure that I like nice things, but have no money. While this is, obviously, a less than ideal situation, it has taught be to be a bit resourceful. Unfortunately, it’s also taught me to be a little impulsive. I’m one of those assholes camped out at Best Buy on Thanksgiving night, while buying things from staples.com on the phone I bought for a penny on Amazon; I’ll buy a pair of jeans a size too small or 3 inches too long just because they’re on sale; I’ll find something I want, then spend six months researching it to make sure I’m getting the best deal possible.
I’ve got a drawer full of ties, 4 laptops, 2 tablets, 2 iPods an indeterminate number of shoes and more grooming products than my fiancee, and I didn’t pay full price for any of it. It’s less about wants and needs, and more about the thrill of the hunt. I once “stalked” a set of power tools at Target for 3 months, checking the price every time I was there. They were originally $125…I got them for $9. One of the more recent highlights was a $150 Dualit toaster for $16. I subscribe to discount newsletters and check “deal” websites first thing every morning and last thing every night. If I had more space and more money, I’m pretty sure I’d be a hoarder. I’m not always proud of these things, but can’t help it. Which brings me to the point:
Yes, those are 8 pairs of glasses
Back in the day, I had what I thought was a decent vision plan through my job. Turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. With this plan, I paid $600 for a pair of glasses and just under $400 for sunglasses at LensCrafters. At that point, I had one pair of “regulars” and one pair of sunglasses Like most normal people, $1,000 on eyewear seemed like more than enough to spend for at least a couple of years. Somewhere along the line, this changed. They went from being a necessity to an accessory.
During one of my deal site browsing sessions, I happened upon a thread about cheap glasses. There were a bunch of links to random, no-name sites selling ugly frames imported from China. I’m a bit of a label whore, and would’ve rather paid more for something nice, with a nice name, than these others, but there was still some good info in there.
That’s when I found it…somebody had complained in this thread about how “overpriced” this one site was, and how the miscellaneous brand were just as good as the Tommy Hilfiger ones, and $12 instead of $40 (these people are some major cheapskates). Wait…$40 for Hilfiger glasses? WITH the lenses?? Sounded pretty good, so I took a look at the site. It seemed simple enough…pick a frame, plug in your prescription info and order-up.
I ended up going with a pair of Gucci frames (left column, second ones down from the top). I had seen a similar pair in a store for around $550, and figured even if they were crap, I’d only be out $100. Turned out I entered the prescription incorrectly when ordering and ended up with a pair 10x stronger than I needed. Much to my surprise, after a quick online chat with customer service, I had a prepaid shipping label in my inbox and a refund for the $20 I had to pay for the lightweight lenses which were no longer needed. A week later, I had the right glasses, and they were better than any I had gotten at a “real” store. Of course, I used a coupon, so the final cost ended up being ~$75 with shipping. After checking these out, I realized they had another coupon for a “free” pair. They weren’t totally free, of course. You had to pay shipping and processing, and any upgrades (coatings, tints, etc.) I ended up getting a pair of Nike sunglasses (bottom right) for ~$23…not bad. I should’ve stopped there, but then they had a Columbus Day sale…everything was $38 (plus upgrades). I bought 5 pairs, sent 2 back (no questions asked, return shipping paid)…ended up with Yves St. Lauren, Cavalli and Kenneth Cole frames, all with perfect lenses, anti-scratch, anti-glare and whatnot, for a grand total of $140.
Now, I’m at 4 pairs of glasses and the shades. I should be satisfied, and I was, until St. Patrick’s Day, when they ran another $38 sale. I tried to fight it…I really did, but then I realized all the frames I had were plastic. I had to have at least one pair of nerdy metal ones. Somehow, one pair became 6 in my cart, but I showed restraint and cut it down to 3 before ordering. Grand total this time was around $150 (shipping went up). So, that’s the story of my eyeglass collection. I wear them all, my fiancee thinks I’m nuts, but I enjoy it, and the combined cost of the 8 pairs was still less than what I paid for the last pair at a physical store…
For my fellow four-eyed folks out there, I’d recommend checking out Coastal Contacts. They run promotions all the time, but if you’re a new customer, enter “FIRSTPAIRFREE” at checkout and all it’ll cost you is shipping and upgrades. I can’t speak for their contact prices, as I haven’t worn a pair since high school, but the glasses are outstanding and the customer service is better than most I’ve experienced…
Almost forgot about this, but it seemed apropos. My first pair of Coastals. Thanks to my beautiful and talented future brother-in-law, Jordan Hochenbaum for this…
Healthy for the Wedding 